Call it a New Years Resolution soon to be broken. OK I’m not putting it on my list of resolutions but considering I haven’t blogged in like FOREVER and it’s January 3rd it will be considered just that. It’s the first day of the work year and not even 9 AM and I have already told my boss I am pissed at him and that I Mother F’ed him the whole way home from work on the previous Thursday. Nice.
Today Drunk Trashy Martha feels like the damn Goodyear Blimp. My fat jeans are snug. I had difficulty bending over to tie my shoe. WTF!!!! Oh and why am I getting pimples at the age of 28 (insert LOL here) when I didn’t get them in high school?!?!?! Jesus! Wacked.
Back to the blimp thing – seriously ugh! IDK why I am such an idiot and why I lose all control on the weekends. What is the damn point of eating cabbage soup and salad and egg whites Monday through Friday when you are eating like there’s no tomorrow on the weekend? That shit has to stop. Of course the gym not being open for the past 2 Friday’s doesn’t help matters either. Looks like it’s gonna be a cereal for dinner kind of week which trust me, if it makes me feel better it’s worth it.
Bought a new pair of jeans yesterday – didn’t try them on cause I already have 2 pairs the same brand in that size. Do they fit? Fuck no they don’t fit. Even with an excessive MUFFIN TOP they don’t fit. I would have to do yoga for 3 hours straight to stretch those bitches out just to be able to button them. FML.
Muffin top is just disgusting but as I sit here mine is disguised by a Nike fleece. I don’t understand people’s way of dressing anymore, I really don’t. The whole pajama bottom shit puts me over the edge. When did it become acceptable to wear your pajamas in public? I DON’T UNDERSTAND! My God I don’t even like going to get the mail in my pajamas in fear that someone I know is going to cruise on by. Some chick right before Christmas HERE AT WORK had on pajama bottoms. I gave her “the fashion eye” to which she said “What don’t you like my PJ’s?” I shook my finger at her up and down and said “I don’t even know what to say about this!”
LISTEN to me! There is never an acceptable time to be wearing your pajamas in public. NEVER! And sweat pants in the office? Really? No. I don’t give a shit how bloated you are or how tired you are – it is NOT ACCEPTABLE! I mean the worst I ever wore to work was my yoga pants and that was on the day after Thanksgiving when no one is here.
And what is this I hear about Pajama Jeans? My friends have told me these exist – I have not yet seen the commercial. Boo to that (probably because I fast forward through all commercials). I can see it now…..Miller’s Hoagie or Sprankle’s…plagued by an over abundance of Pajama Jeans. I just Googled Pajama Jeans – check it.
WTF!!!!!!! I can see it now – a bunch of fake Ugg boots and Pajama Jeans – the new Armstrong County uniform. Gross.