Friday, January 7, 2011

The Wallflowers, Jimmy Buffett and Snoop Dogg

Ever wake up from a dream and say “WTF?!?!?!?!”

SO here is what I remember…..Amber, Dawson and I went to the Jimmy Buffett concert. We are up in the lawn section of Starlake (sorry I still have to call it Starlake). Dawson wants to go and get something to drink – I give him money and let him go by himself. This would never happen at Starlake… we go back in time (Flex Capacitor) to the early 90’s. The following is not a dream, it really happened.

The boyfriend and I went to our first Jimmy Buffett concert in like 1994 maybe? He was 21 and bought a case of Zima (I know – time warp, right?). We head to Starlake and drink A LOT in the parking lot laughing at people and watched them stagger across the road to the woods to piss.

We go inside.

We find our place on the lawn.

We decide we need more to drink so he goes to get us some beer. I stay in our place on the lawn. I say “Are you going to remember where I am at up here?” He says “Yah I’ll just look for the guy with the lobster on his head.” At the time this seemed like a good idea. I repeat – at the time. Apparently in my Zima drunk I was not paying attention to everyone’s attire. BIG MISTAKE.

10 minutes go by, no boyfriend.

15 minutes go by, no boyfriend.

30 minutes go by, where the fuck is he?

45 minutes go by and so does a Conga line with Keith Szalankiewicz in it. That was weird…

60 minutes I say OMG I lost my boyfriend, and my way home and OMG where did Keith go in case I need a ride back to Ford City?!?!?!

I go on a mission to find the boyfriend. I check over by the beverages since that was where he was heading AN HOUR AGO. No boyfriend. Then I think “OMG I have to piss!” Wait – for what we drank he should too…..HEY THERE HE IS! Staggering around with 2 draft beers, one in each hand. We chug the beer and make out like the end of the world is near to the point where people tell us to “Get a room!”. Oh young love……gag!

Anyways, back to my dream this morning…. after a few minutes I am frantic because my child has been gone 10 minutes and hasn’t return. I head down the lawn and start looking for him. I find him in a hospitality tent for the entertainment! The hospitality tent has a swimming pool. Really?

Amber and I hang out in there while Dawson swims and  THEN I get in the swimming pool fully clothed and in a white t-shirt – umm hello?

Jacob Dylan (lead singer of The Wallflowers, also Bob Dylan’s son) walks by. I start screaming (because I am a fan) “DYLAN! DYLAN! DYLAN!” He keeps walking and ignores me. I am like “OK dick!” Then I realize I am calling him by his wrong name. I yell “JACOB!” He stops dead in his tracks, turns around, says “That’s better!” I ask for a picture with him (in my white, wet t-shirt). He takes off all his clothes and jumps in the pool with me. WHOA COWBOY! What the hell?!?! Amber takes a few pictures WITH HIS JUNK EXPOSED (I love the word junk BTW).

As if this dream can’t get any odder –

He leaves cause he has to play the show. But wait! Tonight in addition to The Wallflowers and Jimmy Buffett playing there’s a third act! SNOOP DOGG! My God what did I eat before I went to bed? Special Brownies?

Snoop and his entourage come walking by the pool. Behind them is a huge gospel choir in choir robes. The choir robe collars have fake dreadlocks hanging from them. Really? Anyways Bill Waters, YOU were in the choir in a choir robe complete with fake dreadlocks.

Jimmy Buffett starts, I jump out of the pool, my shirt is amazingly dry and we run to the lawn, Amber, Dawson and I – to do “Fins” and then the alarm went off.

I shake my head, hope I remember that dream and hit the shower. Wow. Snoop Dogg, a naked Wallflower and a Zima flashback. Yoy!

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